Peter Rabbit!

But they won't be reading Peter Rabbit! They'll be teaching her about — you know — Daddy popping his thingy...down below...

Oh Lord. Don't like the sound of that!

It'll be Daddy's Dangly Bits, Mummy's Special Place! No blushes spared!

That's a bit much!

Only, now I think of it, they probably won't even bother with what  "Mummy" and  "Daddy" got up to, once upon a time.

Yuk!

It'll be Kevin and Sharon, I should think. When Kevin fancies his "partner" Sharon very much...

The mind boggles.

And they won't put it nicely, either. Like we would — break it to them gently. It'll all be terribly gynaecological. Skye will be skipping home, saying...y'know...the "v" word.

Sorry?

...V...

AAAAAARRRRGHHHH!

Sorry. Sorry. Really I am...But it's so important we teach our kids to have a healthy approach to these things. We leave it to the schools to handle it, they're going to put our kids off sex for life.