Miner's eyes revolved. This is how the Polish dream house slips out of sight. His girlfriend wants to stay. London has left its Polish builders feeling emasculated. A labourer earns £7 an hour but a cleaner makes £10 an hour. Workmen unable to speak English have little choice but to chase Polish girls they cannot afford the cocktails for.
Not everyone will get lucky like Miner. In 20 years he will still be here, probably in Streatham. He will have a cocky son with literary or financial aspirations in a sixth-form college, flaunting a fashionable Polishness.
The luckless in Polish London drink. Half-vagrants hang around outside Polish clubs and churches looking for work. Every builder has a vodka horror story. Like the builder who tried to hide from his boss in a gutted house by lying under a plasterboard in the rubble.
Drinking blights the Polish countryside. This has now come to the streets of London. The majority of tramps in the city are Polish and Lithuanian. There are at least 5,000 of them. Over 3,000 have been bussed home over the past five years.
There were Polish tramps in north London who were forced to work unloading trucks for Turkish shopkeepers. These villains paid them in the tramp's drink of choice — the cider White Ace. I cannot describe how bad it tastes. Others were found roasting rats in back alleys in Tottenham and Haringey.
These humiliated tramps are hiding. They are hiding from their families. Unable to bear the shame that London turned out to be a soiled mattress under a flyover. They send emails from Kurdish internet cafés for one begged pound, saying they are better than ever. They sleep mostly by the river. It is calm there. Huddled up, they can sing romantic Lublin hobo ballads and roll cigarettes out of pavement butts in peace. They toast handwash cocktails and curse their naivety for thinking you could night-bus it to a better life. To mix these cocktails, tramps sneak into hospitals and surreptitiously squirt the alcoholic liquid from dispensers into Coke bottles. It really hits the back of the head.
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