By strictly Orthodox custom, the funerals took place only a few hours later. My son attended, along with thousands of others, and sent me an email a couple of days afterwards: "At the funeral the Rabbi of the synagogue, in the midst of everyone's pain and while he himself was fighting back his tears, pleaded and demanded from all the thousands that were present that there mustn't be any reprisals or revenge and that wanton violence is simply ‘not our way'. Amongst the many verses he quoted to make his point (of which many form part of a prayer that we say on every Shabbat to remember our many martyrs) he mentioned a verse in Deuteronomy 32:43: ‘He will avenge the blood of His servants and He will bring retribution upon His foes.' We will try to protect and defend ourselves but revenge we leave to the Almighty. As Richard Dawkins (of all people!) pointed out, if you believe in God then you can feel secure that justice will be done and murderers will meet their retribution, if not in this world then in the next." He contrasted this attitude with the celebrations of some of the relatives of the Palestinian attackers in East Jerusalem.

Watching the live TV news coverage of the aftermath of the synagogue attack it struck me that one of the few places where people wouldn't be watching it was Har Nof itself, for nobody has a television. Everyone, however, has a mobile phone and younger people use computers for email and to study, with strict internet control settings. We stay in touch with Daniel and his family via Skype. Money is often tight: married yeshiva students receive a small monthly stipend, but many Haredi women run successful businesses, providing goods and services to the community, like imported clothes or wigs. Flyers abound, advertising the latest offers. Many families depend on support from wealthier relatives abroad. Some young women display a lively interest in current affairs: I have had stimulating discussions about politics around the supper table. Giving to charity is a strict obligation: people come knocking on the door every day to ask for donations and are always given a few coins.

Life is simple and old-fashioned in the best way. Haredi boys like my grandson Shlomo Zalman (named after a famous Polish rabbi) do not have their hair cut until their third birthday. To mark the event, there was a little ceremony at his school, to which we were invited, and could not have been made more welcome. Shlomo repeated a few phrases in Hebrew after the rabbi (one of the few Hassids in Har Nof), dipping his finger in a dish of honey after each one to teach him that Torah learning is sweet. Afterwards, we distributed cake and sweets to the other boys, which were gratefully wolfed down. The only girl present was Shlomo's elder sister.

The most controversial political issue affecting the Haredim before the synagogue attack was that of compulsory military service. All other Israelis have to do three years' national service when they leave school but until now religious Jews have been exempted. The current government is trying to change that, with little success so far, and the Haredim remain violently opposed although they get no sympathy from the majority who can't escape conscription.
Although Har Nof might appear a little dull to the outsider, it's easy to see its attraction to those who have chosen to come to Israel to live there. They can live a completely observant Jewish life without any hassle and without the outside world intruding — or they could, until November 18.