"No, not  King Agamemnon. He sent floral encouragement."

"So the Greek fleet set sail for Troy?"

"Again, it depends how you care to define fleet, but we set sail for Troy."

"And the fleet sank?"

"All but one ship."

"How?"

"There are at least two ways of looking at this. Some would argue that Menelaus and his intimates were guilty of serial impiety and that the Gods  meted out punishment by storm."

"Or?"

"Menelaus was poor. As kings go, a beggar. The reason he wanted to loot Troy was not greed, but need."

"Ornamentation is all. Only those who are poor at greed speak ill of it. What is the point of being in a world  full of appearance, if you don't have the appearance you want? How will your greatness be known, if it can't be seen from afar?"

"Your greatness is unmistakably great—"

"My greatness doesn't require your notice. Back to Troy."

"Menelaus owed a lot of money to Xanthos the Wine-trader. You owe a man one goat, it's your problem; you owe a man fifty good-yielding goats, it's his. Xanthos had concluded that the only way he would get any money back was by investing in war. So Menelaus's battle-fleet was really Xanthos's salesmen."

"Not much in the way of preparation?"

"‘Is this a good idea, going to fight Troy?' That thought was slinking around. But no one knew how well-defended Troy was. One or two traders had been there. ‘So what's Troy like?'  ‘They've got walls.' Okay. ‘Have they got towers?' ‘How do you define tower? Yeah they've got towers.' So they have walls and towers. Does that help you much? ‘Are they moderately-assailable walls or not?' ‘How do you define moderately-assailable? I'm not sure; it was a long time ago. Maybe.'"

"And why did you go?"