***

I am in Athens to speak in a debate on immigration. One of the participants is the wonderful Bernard Kouchner, the former French foreign minister. He recounts a recent debate in London in which he opposed General Musharraf, the former president of Pakistan.

The moderator asked if the general had known that Osama bin Laden was in his country. Musharraf gave a series of gnomic replies. Kouchner grew exasperated and with Gallic shrugs said, "I know why you have to say this, but your nose it is growing." Even Musharraf laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. 

One country deeply in need of some humour is Saudi Arabia. It is also in need of some workers. According to the newspaper al-Ahram, the Kingdom is suffering from a dearth of "official swordsmen". This has become so serious that the Saudis are replacing beheading, the traditional method of execution, with the relatively progressive innovation of the firing squad. Seven men were shot last month.

A committee of the relevant ministries (interior, justice and health, surprisingly) states: "This solution seems practical, especially in light of shortages in official swordsmen or their belated arrival to execution yards in some incidents."

I am trying to think of another example of bureaucrat-speak which conceals so much human misery.