American television commercials are like nothing else. Because US society is so litigiously regulated, all medication commercials must list, in voice-over, not only any positive side-effects but all possibly negative ones. The latter list is always so long and hair-raising as to make you wonder how such commercials could possibly improve rather than destroy sales.

Between news bulletins in San Diego I see a commercial for a roll-on product which is meant to boost testosterone levels in men. We get this for around five seconds. Then for half a minute, while the happy-looking, testosterone-filled man remains on screen, the voice-over stresses that the product can cause, in addition to serious internal organ failure, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, rashes, acne and much else.

Best of all is a commercial in Arizona, featuring soft music and images of what looks like a drive-through restaurant. It turns out to be an introductory offer for a local crematorium. The all-in deal comes to under a thousand dollars, but the commercial stresses that the offer stands "only for a limited time". Are there people in Phoenix saying, "The thing is, Grandma, that the deal only lasts till February, so if you wouldn't mind . . ."? We must hope not.