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At least there was no violence on this occasion. Adult men have, after all, been kicked senseless for less. In February 2007, Roger Hare, a 62?year-old grandfather, was battered and knocked out of a train carriage and left in a coma on a life support system after asking a 20?year-old man to remove his feet from the seat. At the subsequent trial, the man denied causing grievous bodily harm. In August 2007, a London man died after being struck when he dared to remonstrate with two yobs who threw a half-eaten chocolate bar through his car window. Stan Dixon, 60, was attacked and seriously injured on a bus after asking a group of youths not to swear in front of his partner. And just last month, 58-year-old Linda Buchanan was pushed off a platform at Farningham Road station in Kent on to the railway line after she asked two young men to stop smoking.

I’ve been speaking up much more of late. It had become just too depressing to see how people now actively accommodate and work round those who impose themselves unthinkingly on public spaces, in effect taking them over and diminishing everyone else in the process.

Most of us, thankfully, still have relatively little direct experience of violent crime, but the fact is that everyone but the richest now suffers death by a thousand antisocial cuts: by the petty rudenesses, the incivilities and the transgressions that might not amount to crime but which manage to make us despair, fill us with fear and finally inspire more and more of us to call it a day, pick up sticks and flee in the name of what pollsters call “quality of life”.

Public transport is, I’ve found, a real flashpoint. For example, going around London, it becomes clear that the bus queue, that silent expression of collective social cohesion, is now virtually extinct. No one is happy about this, but it’s been accepted with a resigned shrug of the shoulders. Only in the commercial sector does queuing still seem to thrive – in shops, at cash machines and in supermarkets, where it is rigorously enforced anyway by roped-off areas. But in those areas of life that rely not on a sales transaction of some kind but on a sense of communal identity, consideration and fairness, it has disappeared.

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John Burke
September 25th, 2008
3:09 PM
Sadly, these outcomes are all too predictable, for reasons Patrick stated. Unfortunately, we all need to manage our expectations better before acting. When you look at the overall environment in the UK, and London especially, to me, it fosters unfriendly behaviour from the get-go. In the eight months I've been here (from Canada), I've seen just one person look up, make eye contact, and say "hello" when walking on a sidewalk and approaching a fellow pedestrian one-on-one. Just look at all the ghetto-like, metal roll down security doors that cover storefronts in even the so-called "nice" neighbourhoods and villages. Even spearhead-topped steel fences, no matter how ornate, send an unwelcoming, even confrontational message to passersby. Add a miserable, sunless climate, insanely high prices for everything and sardine-like public transport, and it's no wonder even smiles are extinct here, let alone civilized behaviour.

Delilah
September 24th, 2008
1:09 PM
Thatcher famously claimed that..'there is no such thing as society'. The parents of those teenage girls were born into that mindset and no doubt have passed their beliefs onto their daughters along with hair and eye colour. If there is no society, then the world revolves around the individual, so why should the girls refrain from indulging in their pleasure in order to make your life more bearable?

Cathryn
September 23rd, 2008
11:09 PM
I agree with Daniel's point regarding norms of politeness not being shared across cultures and that increasing mulitculturalisation leads to increasing societal rudeness. Unfortunately this lack of politeness leads to previously polite communities losing their consideration for others. If one is polite (for example in a motoring situation) and that politeness is not acknowledged or worse, the other motorist appears to regard you as stupid for being polite, you would not feel inclined to be polite in future. As rudeness thrives, so the general level of politeness in society falls to the lowest common value. Living in Birmingham I find this immensely sad as my culture and the values it held seem to be disappearing. It's brought into stark relief when I visit small (mainly single original culture) market towns where politeness survives, at least for now. The whole process is so depressing.

arkletten
September 22nd, 2008
10:09 PM
Morality is regarded negatively today. If you tell somebody off you are 'moralising' and 'interfering with their rights'. You are assuming a moral superiority to their moral inferiority, that is why they object. It's the whole idea of authority; you're pulling one over on them. There is no longer such a thing as public morality and there is no such thing as private morality either. The weird thing that gets me though, is that these same offenders appear to have very high standards of morality of our politicians. They will oppose the Iraq war, oppose perks to fat cats, etc., but they won't consider themselves bound by any form of morality. I call is the infantilism of the people.

Anonymous
September 13th, 2008
10:09 PM
why would you waste time writing any of this crap? so two girls have a loud phone. who gives a rats ass? they have their rights

Patrick
September 5th, 2008
9:09 PM
Your cause was lost from the start. Anyone in a public setting that is actively engaged in behavior that is clearly self-centered and generally annoying is never going to respond favorably to a civil request for consideration of others.

German Pareja
September 4th, 2008
11:09 PM
Here is an interesting approach from the place where I was born (I only lived there as a child): employing mimes as surrogate spokesmen for civility in public spaces. Academic turns city into a social experiment Mayor Mockus of Bogotá and his spectacularly applied theory By María Cristina Caballero http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2004/03.11/01-mockus.html Traffic calmer Bogotá style http://moblog.net/view/846521/traffic-calmer-bogota-style

wendy kellett
September 2nd, 2008
7:09 AM
Recently,I travelled from Westbury to Tiverton in the 'quiet' carriage. At least 2 mobile phones were in operation throughout the journey:no-one said anything and the guard ignored the offenders:(probably for his own safety). I fully agree with the first comment:this country is grossly overcrowded;we have reached a 'critical mass' in terms of population density,and are now exhibiting anomie and aggression. Our government is obsessed with growth and greed,so little chance of a change from the top.

ThomasR
August 31st, 2008
7:08 PM
Asking people to be polite has to be done in a polite way, otherwise I myself am adding more rudeness to the world. How is this to be achieved? I have to accept that the other person is a fellow human who probably isn't very aware of himself or his effect on our surroundings. When I ask him to be quieter or whatever, I have to do it in a way that acknowledges him rather than dismisses him. It's also true that if my own mental state is poor then I have a tendency to look for external causes. Thus I have to hold open the possibility that both of us may be acting unreasonably.

Daniel Wiles
August 28th, 2008
11:08 AM
A very interesting article. Sadly the traditional qualities of public life that prevailed a few decades ago (politeness, understatement, consideration) have been undermined by two factors. Firstly the dramatic influx of immigrants to this country who do not subscribe to the same values (you only have to visit Bombay, Lagos or Islamabad), and secondly the overcrowding of this country which has the infrastructure (particularly public transport)creaking at the seams. Five rats in a cage may get on fine - put fifty in the same cage and they'll be at each others' throats.

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