Anyway. We, the public, that is. We all moan about our MPs. Right?

Right!

But there comes a time when you've just got to stop moaning, and do something.

I suppose...

The country's crying out for honest, decent people. To stand up...

What's Esther Rantzen got to do with it? I thought she was dead.

I don't think Tim realises how serious I am. But you know, for the first time in my life, I just have this feeling...Almost like a calling.

Golly.

I've been ever so busy, looking up all sorts of things on the internet...And I've decided. I'm going to stand as an Independent MP!

Oh. My. God...

Serious.

So. What sort of a prospectus-thingy are you going to stand on? You've got to have one...

Oh, I've got hundreds of them...I'll email them to you.

Well...

It's all the stuff that people really, seriously care about. Green issues. Obviously. Anti-BNP. Because they're a menace. Mostly, it's just about Integrity...The dread "I" word!

Sounds very impressive.

Going forwards. Not looking back. Going forwards into the future...

Wow!

With Integrity. Plus, with Maisie off to big school next term, I'll have lots of time on my hands. I was thinking of aromatherapy...

Never mind aromatherapy!

Could be fun, couldn't it? Gossiping in the tearooms...Changing the country's agenda...

You're giving me goose bumps!  

New wardobe...Paxman...I just bet there's free parking, if you know how to swing it...