Well one of them promised it — years ago. Remember? Was it Blair or the other one? The Scottish one, with the wife . . . God! Can you believe I've already forgotten his name?

Gordon Brown?

. . . One of them said they'd have a referendum on the euro, I think . . . and then nothing. Nada. Everyone sort of conveniently forgot. So I'll believe it when I see it. Frankly. Sounds to me like a sort of — I promise I'll leave my wife soon, darling . . . Just not now.

Haha — you can tell that to Laura.

I'd love to. If I thought she'd listen.

Tell her — the day that man leaves his wife, Laura, it's the day we get our funny-shaped banana referendum!

Hahaha!

She's a silly cow, though. I've got no sympathy.

. . . But say there is a referendum.

"Yes, darling. Absolutely. Right after Billy's Common Entrance, darling."

Haha. Too funny!

"And no, darling, of course we never have sex any more."

Oh my God, you've just spent the weekend with her, haven't you?

She believes him. That's the tragedy.

But to be serious . . .

I am serious, Kat! Deadly! She honestly believes that idiot man is going to — 

If we did get a referendum . . . about the euro and everything. Not the euro. But everything . . . Being in Europe. Whatever. Which way would you vote?

. . . Which way . . . ?

I know! Dreaded question!

Well I'd vote Out of course. Wouldn't you?

What about the positives?

What positives?

God — I don't know . . . business. Exports and imports. And things. We'd get horribly left out.

Left out of what?