Aren't we all! 

Give me a "decent" state school in my area — and I swear I'd have my kids in there in a flash. Wouldn't you?

Are you crazy? OF COURSE I WOULD!

Because — do think...morally speaking. As a civilised people we have a responsibility...to try and bridge this unbridgeable gap...bridge this sort of quote-unquote "class divide". 

That's a lovely way of putting it. But as you know — David's Jewish. So it's impossible. 

And Andrew's vehemently anti-Catholic. God knows why...So you know... 

Cof E?

Well — but there aren't any. Not near us. 

How about the Free Schools? Have you thought about them?

The what?

...You know. Michael Gove...I don't really know much about them.  Parent power...Or something. 

Parent power?  Crikey!

It's the big new Tory thing...Decent Education for all...

I don't understand. Can anyone go to them? 

I think so. And there's this big emphasis on academic subjects...

Are you sure?

Nonselective. Highly academic. Free. And coming soon to a street near you! 

Oh for crying out loud, Ciss, do shut up. 

Sound good?

They sound absolutely bloody ghastly.