I haven't. Have you?

Annoyingly not.

. . . But people in Putney for example . . .

You said it! And I'll I give you one guess as to who lives in Putney.

Tara and Nige?

Only our Deputy Prime Minister! . . . Smell a rat yet?

Ooh . . .

Somebody should do a Google search. Find out exactly how many of these MPs suddenly oh-so-keen on the Far-Eastern stroke Asian stroke quote-unquote "Chinese" community coming over here . . .

Can we say "Oriental"?

Hmm?

As in "from the Orient"?

Probably not. Sounds like "ornamental". And that has sexist connotations. Seriously, I think we should expose them. You know? Our kids are getting Chinese tiger-mummed out of their own education systems! Just so a bunch of greedy MPs can turn a bob on their waterside properties. It's a scandal.

There's a mum at school. I think she's a reporter  or something. Next time I see her I'm going to tell her to jolly well look into it.

George Osborne probably has his constituency down at Rock. Or something.

I bet.

And we all know Boris give-them-all-visas Johnson adores the water.

Does he?

Why wouldn't he?

Good point.

I think we're on to something, Jilly. Something big. Fancy a coffee? We could get cracking on it. Do some research.

Pilates!

Oh. Shame.