"My first suspicion is that she is a gold-digger and has taken Kizerman for loaded. As someone who has done his taxes for the last forty or so years I can tell you he isn't. He gets by, not much more. You know the line about older men seeking out rich widows, how's it go, they're looking for ‘a nurse with a purse', that's it. We need something similar for women going after older men, ‘An old babe who forgot to save,' maybe. In any case, if Ms Shapiro is a gold-digger, in Harold Kizerman she's working the wrong claim."

Kizerman's cheesecake arrives. Gladys sets it down along with a cup of coffee, which he drinks black with three heaped spoons of sugar.

"My problem was what to do about it. Should I warn my old friend that he is making a big mistake? Or should I let it go, let things play out, as they figured inevitably to do? I decided on the latter.

"Then less than a week later, Kizerman calls to inform me that he is going to propose marriage to this broad, Ms Shapiro. Does a good friend stand by, despite his own forebodings, say congratulations and wait for the disaster that is sure to follow? Or does he say what he thinks?

"‘Hal,' I say, ‘I think you may be making a grievous error here.'

"‘Grievous?' he asks. ‘How so, grievous?'

"‘I think it's a dumb idea to marry at our age, and even if it wasn't I don't think this is the woman to do it with. This is an unhappy woman, Hal. See her, screw her, do anything you like, but don't marry her is my advice. This is a woman likely to ruin your last years. Don't do it. Big mistake,' I say.

"‘Who're you, Ann Landers?' he says. ‘Deborah is a beautiful and dear woman, and she needs my protection.'

"‘Protection from what?' I ask.

"‘From the world,' he says. ‘It's a damn cold and cruel place, especially for a woman alone. If you'd get your fat ass out of that chair every so often, maybe you'd notice.'

"‘So,' Feigenbaum says to me, ‘there it was. We got to the insult stage that fast. I stopped it before it got to the shouting stage.'

"‘Look, Hal,' I say to him, ‘You'll do what you want. I wish you nothing but the best.'

"‘Like hell you do,' he says. ‘You obviously take me for an idiot.'

"‘Look,' I say, ‘if I've done anything to hurt your feelings, if I've gone too far, I apologise.'

"‘I know envy when I see it,' he says. ‘You're envious of my having a good life with an attractive woman. I'm not a goddamn moron.'

"‘Envious?' Feigenbaum says to me. ‘I swear it hadn't occurred to me to be envious. I saw a dear friend in danger of going down the tubes with the wrong woman, nothing more.'"