SHIRAZ MAHER

The problem with Inayat Bunlawala is that, well, he's just not that smart. It probably explains why he remains an Islamist well into his thirties.

To be honest, I haven't written about him for a while because it's just too easy. It started getting embarrassing. Here's the thing with Bungles, like every good Islamist he loves to whine and moan about pretty much everything while maintaining a blissful ignorance about his own hypocrisy.

In the past Bungles has ferociously tried to protect his own little Islamist match by deriding and dismissing almost every other Muslim group in the most vicious terms. Here he is dismissing my friend Haras Rafiq:

Who is he? Who does he represent? Let's wait and see just how many groups affiliate to his group, but at the moment it's obscure and unknown.

Elsewhere, he argues:

Who voted for Haras Rafiq?

Bungles was arguing that Rafiq lacked support in the community for his Sufi Muslim Council, about which Bungles was equally uncharitable:

The key factor is the support in the wider Muslim community

Next, Bungles said the same about British Muslims for Secular Democracy (BMSD) which completely outshone his pathetic attempts to stage a counter-demonstration against Anjem Choudary last year. Bungles called them:

the tiny - as in unbelievably microscopic - outfit

He also told the Jewish Chronicle:

BMSD have almost zero support in UK mosques and Islamic institutions...The only support BMSD appear to attract seems to be from pro-Israeli groups. That itself is very telling.

And, finally, about the Quilliam Foundation - now investing all its equity in a single word brand: ‘Quilliam' - Bungles again says:

It has very little credibility amongst British Muslims

Credibility; standing; legitimacy - these would all seem to be crucial issues to Bungles. Yet, in recent days Bungles has been going around the press describing himself as ‘Chair of Muslims4UK'. I must confess to almost falling off mine when I read that.

Just what is Muslims4UK? Well, it's a website and, er, not much else. To make things worse it seems he hasn't even bothered to update the site since 30 October 2009. That's almost a whole year.

Muslims4UK started after BMSD first raised the idea of staging a counter-protest to al-Muhajiroun last year. At the time Choudary was carrying out a wave of highly offensive and outrageous demonstrations around the country. BMSD wanted to mobilise a Muslim response to this and started a discussion on facebook about the idea.

Then - by complete coincidence I'm sure - Inayat Bunglawala had the exact same idea. Despite having been involved in frontline Muslim politics for much of the previous decade, Bungles' moment of realisation came now. Still, better late than never, eh?

Of course, his private emails to supporters - many of whom are very leaky indeed - led to Bungles' thoughts being revealed in the pages of the Jewish Chronicle. One email from Bungles read:

The BMSD - whose leading members advocate that Muslim schoolgirls should be forbidden from wearing the hijab and believe there is nothing wrong with drinking alcohol in Islam - have naturally attracted the support of Zionists like Mel P, Harry's Place and the Spittoon blog.

Muslims4UK have spoiled that little plan of theirs [BMSD's], alhamdulillah!         

That Bungles now describes himself as ‘Chair of Muslims4UK' to the British media is hysterical. Actually, it is hypocritical. Where is the legitimacy? The grassroots support? The public backing? How representative is it? How was Bungles elected chair? By whom? For how long? What are the terms of his appointment?

In truth, Muslims4UK is a vanity project for this ailing and alienated Islamist with a grand membership of one: its chairman. The Muslims4UK Christmas party must be a riot. Speaking of which, it turns out we have some exclusive footage from last year's party:

 Oh Bungles.